I wish I wasn't ....
Jessica Lane
My life is a collage
Of different pictures
With different colors both beautiful and ugly
Funny and sad
Upthight and silly...
I have my faults that I try to hide
Wishing I was flawless and perfect
Envying the people who seem so “right”
And potraying myself as so “wrong”
I try to hide my selfishness and try to fit in
By forcing selfless acts and kind heartedness
But at the end of the day...
I have myself to deal with
Knowing I’m a fake and what I call “plastic”
—That makes me hate myself more!
No one understands me,
How will they,
if I don’t understand myself?
Doubting this is where I’m supposed to be
I feel lost and uknown
With no sense of belonging...
I try to be a good person
But I either glow too bright or dim too dark.
Unbalanced and incomplete,
I find myself in the company of “Lions”
Expecting them not to eat me because I never ate them
—what a foolish attempt
My teardrops fall like acid,
Burning and leaving scars
Making it hard not only to trust myself
But everyone else around me
Fear creeps in at the end of the night
~damaged and hurt
I lost myself to find myself
~Done by charmaine Heymann
(2010)
Its a true story...
Real experiences
