She's an illusion
To the woman like me. Use this poem to see again
More than I can count on one hand
Have I burned the substance of your touch
With sins so deceitful
The lions attack the lamb
All along thinking I was the lamb
When in truth
I am the lion
With teeth so sharp
Capable of morphing into the devil itself
But a deceiving physical appearance
So strong
So confident
So erotic
Yet so gentle
And goddess like
The charm swarms around me
Purple sparkly sweetness
Bleeding off into the cups of the thirsty
Thirsty for what I can make them feel
A trap that’s so deceiving
The euphoria makes the temptation impossible to disregard
The illusions sting the brain itself
Believing in the lies
My own lies
A pile of lies a thousand high
Is there a way to be faithful again
Is there a way to burn the evil
To gain back what I have lost
What I want
What I need
Is truth
What is a lie if there is no truth
I stab myself over and over
Bleeding away to my death
Still unable to decipher the blatant resolution
To escape my death
The lies
The lies
Piling on my back
A hundred pound rock
Piling rock after rock
Crush me now
Make it quick
Save me the pain
Through threshold into hell
You want me?
You love me?
Illusions cloud your judgment
You don’t want me
You don’t need me
Stay far away
For the looks of your ideal
Will be emphasized in me
Morphing into everyone else’s desires
Is what I do best
And what I do best
Is what gets me high
High on the happiness of others
How ironic
This happiness breaks
Always crumbles
Burning away to ash
Chemically impossible to fuse back
Is happiness the goal
What is the goal
The point
Of life
My life
(2013)
This poem is how I feel about myself and how I work with men. I am not proud of the meaning behind this but change is around the corner for me. This is not how I want to treat people I love and care about. Writing this poem helped me realize what I have been doing to the man I'm deeply in love with and have been with for 2 years.
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