They say that it is essential to everything currently in existence. They say that it is the only true thing in this world. They say that it is the only thing pure enough to make a dead soul alive. They say that it brings happiness possibly joy upon this world. They say that it creates smiles, memories to cherish eventually. They say all these things but they leave out one key point, they leave out that it ultimately crushes, consumes, leeches all this abruptly without warning. No signal and as quick as it comes and takes everything it leaves immediately afterwards. Leaving us empty, broken and left out to dry. It doesn’t show mercy, it doesn’t help. Like a cold winters wind it chills us to the bone shaking where we stand as it goes on its way. It jerks the tears from our soul and lets them stream down our hopeless faces. It scars a part of us, a part that cannot be repaired. It gouges deep into our soul leaving us gasping, full of questions. Why? Why could it do this to us? Why does it go against everything they say about it? Why does it ultimately destroy us in the end? Why? I found it once and sure enough it found me again. Sure, they were right at first, it was pure untapped emotion. Sure I was happy at first. Sure I smiled and laughed. Sure, I had great times while it was present. Surely though it was all surreal. As quick as it came it went and tore me apart. It ripped a part of me away from my body away from mind. It wreaked havoc on me. It left me staring at the ceiling, feeling nothing as time winded down. Consumed in entirely by blackness, a depth my mind had never been to. I felt nothing. Empty. You know theres a saying and it goes like this; I’d rather feel something than nothing at all. And so that’s what I went off at this point after it left me torn apart. Blood came next, as it trickled down my skin and the tears rolled off my eyes in the darkness. Silence consumed me with the blackness, but I guess atleast I was feeling pain. The razor clanked against the hard floor and ringed in my ears. As a crimson red stained the tile next to it and I stared at the ceiling and stared. It had consumed me pushed me to my edge ultimately made me into nothing, an empty being stranded in a human body feeling nothing. Suicide it sounded so sweet, like a release of sorts at the time being. But like they said it will find you again and this time it found me as I lay empty once more. It found me and consumed me completely, lit me up like a candle on a dark winters night, emitting the warmth it released into my soul. It found me and it never left me. Blinded by the sudden emptiness I never realized it never left me. They say that a mothers love for her child is eternal, well that is a saying that cannot be changed. It is true and it is the one saying that is. Love that’s what it is and in the end it will find you and it will save you. Love is the only thing in the world that we need, it’s the only emotion that can spark happiness, pain, fear, emptiness. Without love we are nothing we are empty, we need it even if it hurts.  It plays catch up though and in the end it will turn you again to emptiness, it will catch you off guard and make you feel empty again and again unknowingly unforgivingly. In the end is it all worth it? Its too delicate the slightlest touch and it will burn, ignite off your emotions what your feeling at the time being.

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crazy enough
over 7 years

I like what i am reading so far :) Gonna have to check out some more. I can't help but agree that it is a vicious cycle, though there is always more to what we see at times.

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