I have often sat and thought of the life I wanted
Unfortunately I never made my own decisions
Being married, decisions were what ever he wanted
I couldn’t even pick a vacation, it didn’t fit his plan
 
I dreamt of going to Ireland, to see the Castles
Instead I got to go to Disney Land, lucky me
Oh yes there is a Castle there, just not my castle
The reason why, his decision and it was cheaper
 
I had a job and could have saved my own money
He didn’t let that happen instead it was meant for him
I never had the independence to just go
I was made to feel it was my duty to be a housewife
 
I could never just take a couple of grand and enjoy myself
It was ok when he decided he needed a trip though
New clothes, new luggage and a whole different attitude
Begged me to go with him, knowing I’d say no
 
Why did I say no? Said he was going to Reno gambling
I didn’t want to loose my hard earned money on a crap shoot
Instead of giving me independence, I was like a piece of dirt
I was the one who never meant anything and it showed
 
His friends were always first, I’d always come last
People don’t understand why I’d put up with it
Unless you go through what I’ve been through
You could never understand or relate to my ordeal
 
I would go to get something for me to eat
First I had to make his food. Big mistake
I don’t think I ever ate a meal while it was hot
I felt like I was a piece of furniture, just there
 
Women can and should do everything a man can
She should have her independence and choice
Choice to travel, stay at home or whatever she desires
She should not be owned but loved and revered
 
All you woman take heed to my words
Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile and then some
Take care of yourself first, you are so important
Never give up on your wants or dreams, they are your freedom

(2014)

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Angel Lady (Sandi Guidotti)
almost 5 years

Hi stranger., I've missed seeing your posts. Thanks. Had I been a selfish or independent person this would have never happened. But it still wasn't my fault. Every minute of our lives together was him contemplating what the next move would be to control every aspect of my life. My son tells me all the time not to blame myself. I was the right person for him to control and all the blame is on him. I missed out on so much in life. But I have a second chance. I'm older but wiser now. My grandsons been coming over. My granddaughter is taking exams next week so she text me last night and said she'd try to come see me on Sunday. I'm just so glad they are back in my life. Hope your ok, Sandi, Bye.

Debra Romero
almost 5 years

Hey friend, I am sorry for what you had to endure being with this man and I hope you can find some new found happiness in your freedom...your friend always, deb

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