I sit here in anguish from the inside out,
Fighting through this trauma learning what my soul is about.
I honestly feel like everything happens for a reason,
But when my anxiety takes over it feels like treason.
My fears begin to mock me. I end up questioning myself and everything around,
I need to find a way to close it all down,
Just for a moment my mind not making a sound.
To be mindful, to learn that it’s ok to breathe,
To feel the pain, but work through what I grieve.
To be completely still and fully aware,
To stop, smell, listen, and stare,
To not worry, to not have a care.
Some of the weight I carry is not my own,
It’s ok to admit you can’t always do everything alone.
Even if you are capable of being on your own.
People around me seem so disengaged,
Or they are opposite filled with violence, passion, and rage.
Extreme just like my mind and my mood,
A beautiful angel all twisted and crude.
Sometimes I don’t feel tough enough to do this anymore,
Especially knowing it gets worse and there is no real cure.
I understand, love, and accept myself now more then ever,
Suppressing my trauma has not been so clever.
Protect me, guide me, and help me transform,
I am ready for peace I am ready to calm this storm.
Written By: Angel Vaughan