I sit here in anguish from the inside out,
Fighting through this trauma and learning what my souls all about.
I honestly believe everything happens for a reason,
But when my depression and anxiety kicks in it feels like treason.
My fears begin to mock me and I end up questioning myself and everything around,
I need to find a way to close it all down,
Just for a moment my mind not making a sound.
To be mindful, to learn that it’s ok to breathe,
To feel my pain but work through what I grieve.
To be completely still and fully aware,
To stop, smell, listen, and stare,
To not worry to not have a care.
Some of the weight I carry is not my own,
It’s okay to admit you can’t do everything alone,
Even if you are capable of being on your own.
People around me seem so disengaged,
Or they are opposite filled with violence, passion, and rage.
Extreme a lot like my mind and my mood,
A beautiful angel or twisted and crude.
Sometimes I don’t feel tough enough to do this anymore,
Especially knowing it gets worse and there is no real cure.
I understand, love and accept myself now more then ever,
Suppressing my trauma has not been so clever.
Protect me, guide me, and help me transform,
I’m ready for peace, I’m ready to calm this storm.
Written By: Angel M. Vaughan