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Searching for answers

For my wife and dreaming of our love

How tough can it be to find light in the dark of despair,
How much harder must I work when deep down I know you are not there.
My head becomes heavy and my hearts filled with sorrow,
If only I had with you one more tomorrow.
 
I create my own pain and I hear my own lies,
To the world I am strong and can they see it in my eyes.
Holding on to the hurt way down deep deep inside,  
It is starting to show it’s becoming something I can’t hide.
 
Why am I so week why can’t I recover,
I am in love with my wife who is no longer my lover.
She speaks with her words as if only to say,
I love you today but it will not always be this way.
 
There is something I know that she is failing to hide,
As deep in my gut I feel the dark tide.
It is coming I fear the day when she not there,
The new love in her life, my new despair.
 
If God were real and there was an answer to this,
I would ask him to day to bring back my bliss.
My wife was my world and she is even now,
Please Lord Lift me up and show me how?
 
I truly need peace and recovery too,
From the pain in my heart and the hurt that is you.
Please fix me Dear Lord, and everything inside,
Because the pain is so real that I can no longer hide.
 
So I end off this prayer to anyone who hears,
Please help me today as I am filled up with tears.
I want to be happy and I want to feel free,
From the pain and the hurt that is slowly killing me.

(2015)

This poem is written at a time when I felt lost, feeling I was loosing my wife and had no answers, the world was dark as so were my emotions

#LordLove #Prayer #Wife

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