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I began to think that I need not speak
That if I just felt it more
Let it
Make me
Be unguarded more
It would come to you
Like that petty joy you get
Correctly reading the lips of the muted tv
Forgetting everything
I forgot I already knew all the words
 
So does it come to you
Washing over
Burning
Too much soap
Not enough water
They call it “a taste of your own medicine”
So did it come to you?
A  time when I condescended
the underwear right down to your ankles
A memory of me and how maybe
I uprooted your sheets to plant my own seeds
 
Maybe if I opened wide
Not to let you inside
But to let you slink back out
You’d read it like a TelePrompTer apology
And I wouldn’t have to describe the filth
that I daily wake with
Hourly
The brine I slough down shower stalls
The deference-timid hate
It confuses me for my nightmares
And proclaims so boastfully
Not to truly exist

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