Remembering to Forget
{For Toppie}
She told another joke, we all laughed
Another screamed as a balloon popped
Then laughter permeates the air
once more
My teacher enters the room
Her expression is strange,
both shocked and confused
And then I realized that
she is looking at me
She walks towards me
I barely hear the words
leaving her mouth
I know what she will say
I know it before a sound is made
All eyes are on me
Each pair searching,
feeling, caring and worried
I haven’t told anyone
I can barely acknowledge it
I can see her wondering,
the wheels in her head turning,
Why am I hiding it?
Do I remember?
Am I in denial?
Why haven’t I said anything?
A single tear escapes
That image comes to mind again
Denial rages strong
The disbelief and withdrawal evident
I feel my emotions cave
as I remember...
He’s gone.
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