The Void
Dulled eyes and ringing ears—
Nothing else is real.
Numbness has overruled feeling
And all clarity has hazed
Until the lines that make up my life
Are barely perceptible.
I stare and wonder at the emptiness
Before my eyes as I make
Sad attempts to come to terms
With the emotional vacuum
That I have constructed from the shreds
Of my once-prismatic heart.
Where have I gone?
What is my name now?
How have I changed so,
Fallen so far?
Face-to-face with a hollow shell
And descending rapidly into
A self-made infernal nightmare,
I stare into the void
And the void glowers back at me.
It doesn’t beckon—not really—
Nor call with its sirens;
It has no need—I am already
Entrapped by its bleakness,
Enthralled by its austerity,
And enraptured by its emptiness.
And, oh, how I long to leave!
I am pulled both back and forth
And can go nowhere!
How long must I sit and contemplate
Unending nothingness?
Pain, joy, gratitude, anger...
I beg anything but this crushing apathy!
And, slowly, imperceptible at first,
A light glows on the horizon
And the void begins to desperately
Vie again for dominance of my attention.
A flush of color comes to my
Pasty and lifeless face.
Pain and joy twain,
Life and death as one,
And understanding finally achieved,
I leave the void behind
And embark on a new journey that promises
Sorrow and love,
Bitterness and absolution,
Hate and caring...
Life is lived again
And the emptiness that all must face
Finally finds its end in a simple truth:
Without hurt, hollow hearts abound.
(2013)
