Born Anew
New feeling being born anew .
I cannot feel for what has past
so lacking am I in anything true
so crave I what seemingly seems to last
all I know is that I was born anew in you
For I surely cannot go backwards
and I am not permitted to go forward
I heard these words from you very plain
it is a dead end, that theres nothing there to gain
still it changes it not that something beyond both disagree
if you cannot or will not feel that too
ignoring what you cannot see
still know that In you I am born anew
unless your blind to your intuition
it could not have been passed your suspicion
the pull in the air between you and I
when alone a purity circles us, its not false
and somewhere there is an invisible tie
there exists there a signal, a pulse
this tension that you readily ignore
and I apologize that I want it more
every time I’m with you near
I wish I had that moral shame and fear
yet that very innocence inside born anew
is what happens when I’m here next to you
I cannot hear a word or sound
just the love for you all the way down
and that is truth as much as It might astound
this vulnerability I fear not with you around
and why does pain not torment me concerning this?
is it because this charge is static?
moving through it all and cannot miss
is it because I know something is eminent?
that try as it might it will not relent?
because for good or ill it was never meant
that something was always meant to be born anew
that what is there was always meant to follow through
wether ending in sorrow or not, it had to be
for nothing will rid me of this gnawing empathy
of this I’ve failed thrice to flee
this empathy simply cuts me through
for when pain takes any form or shape in you
I have wish to rectify and take it away
to love you more I could in no way
Ill repeat what Ive written many times before
my mind does indeed play by the rules
but when has the heart ever done so?
my soul makes a point to break them
then tension beats all at once, then slow
so its unfortunate that all sides love you
that in this I’ve been born anew
and Im sorry for everything so far
stand I within a cycle of guilt, where I do try
but how could I have known id want all you are
and do not pretend for you know and so do I
you could do better at making me believe
that what I speak of does not exist and why?
for you do not and what am I to do, leave?
how can I not respond, when you softly imply
ever so slightly my peace you thieve
and you know it and still pretend you do not see
I taken aback and felt a slight unease
because I was told I could not do as I please
so Ill never understand this intense mystery
it shall always be blurred out and unclear
forced to speak in code and reading between the lines
and I suppose for the moment all that is fine
but what I feel is pure and hard to see it as a crime
I wish I could say with confidence it would fade in time
yet I cannot
it was never meant to be easy
still why do I not dismay that you know this feeling
I could never say why but I do not
I should feel foolish for it is unappealing
if one felt so much it should be kept within I was taught
why did you come along and change this philosophy?
but what I feel Ive so hard against fought
to keep it close and tight within
and now against my will I just cannot
I hate I want you to let me through, let me pass
this barrier made of clear, incredibly thin glass
easily broken and transparent right through
yet a barrier is still a barrier is it not?
still even behind a barrier Im born anew
but the slightest pain in you
that will flash then disappear
I want vanquished by my hand
the slightest conflict or grating fear
why does any negative in you
do I want to take as my own?
and this turmoil within have I never shown?
so very much id like to calm this confusion
bring this to a sudden and quick conclusion
if only I could believe it was as you say just my delusion
then quite simple it would be
but we both know it was never an illusion
so search I deeply within for an easy solution
yet this I know there is not without a cost
yes within this I am so very and truly lost
yet as to be expected too, say you do not feel the same
still you cannot honesty believe, it is only I to blame?
perhaps this will indeed in the end tear me apart
but I feel as if it still has to play a part
I know when something has meaning
instinctively I sense pieces of my wayward heart
I miss you when your not around
I missed you before I knew you
and id miss you if you were never born
you’d linger still where the memories fall through
and my memory recognizes a missing piece
its real and so much more than electricity
passing intense yet soft through you and me
I cannot know where this will end or where it leads
but it does so surely and faintly bleed
for it has bled its brand upon my soul
and you quiet me inside thats all I truly know
there is something there within the fold
this is the only thing about this Ill pretend to know
that I was born anew in you
and let me be honest
I’ve tried so hard to be your friend
yet I cannot go back to where Ive been
this mystery here that confounds to no end
You’re the most beautiful thing Ive looked upon and within
put time between us
and it would still matter not
put distance between us
and you’d still raid my thoughts
somehow connected through time and space
If I never saw you Id still know your face
yes I’m so aware such words come on strong
but I feel something within this is true
that you seem to think that I’ve always been wrong
changes not that in you I’m born anew
but i’ve truly only just now come to the realization
that what you say is not at all exactly what you feel
and what is not said is not mere elation
but most strange, perfect, awful yet real
could it be you only disguise it for good intentions
something I more than surely understand
but I feel like I should be sure to mention
I still feel it every time we’re hand in hand
and call it mere intimacy if you must or will
but the physical is not known to keep the soul still
do not depreciate to the trivial my love
to know its so much more you need only look above
it was not my point to in any way complicate
I am simply speaking from the soul
I look it not, but I am in such a state
but causing frustration was never my goal
I simply must speak these words through art
I know I simply cannot ignore the heart
wether or not you ever speak or be a part
its changes not that it feels strange to be apart
I fear one thing that I have options so very few
theres the noise and sound that sets my soul askew
then theres you who quiets the storm of this I cannot undo
It would pain me to forget but if you desired this then Id do
But do not tell me of what I know to be true
Its something I myself am still getting used too
this feeling of being born anew
in an innocence once lost
being born again in you
One last time before I attempt to get over this
and move on
to save oneself
I want this to be the last time that Ill ever bare myself
because I knew better than this all along
I just kept feeling that it does belong
the purity within it you must admit is strong.
go ahead and look me in the eye and tell me that Im wrong
Id go silent, respectfully and all these words would be gone
Id walk away and never look again if with this your not imbued
and only leave you with the knowledge that I was born anew in you
—C.R.Stanger
rather long...but when compared to others..relatively short..heh...but ..yay...more mushy, overly emotional lyrical poetry....Ive been honing it lately though and there is something to be said of non-classical poetry.. if done right...it can really feel smooth and get a point across..i also like it because there are no rules..and when writing of certain subjects..I do not want the rules and tight rhyming schemes of classical..I actually may prefer it when concerning love poetry...idk..sometimes ..depends on the situation....I must say it is quite a nice break from the dark mental poetry I wrote for awhile...fear not... Ill return there soon enough...but its good for one to write about something that isn't unhealthy or dark ...but quite normal...it does not follow that same obsessive or possessive nature i have in alot of poems ..especially poems that lean to love ...which poetically speaking I tend to adhere too..shrugs..its just me..but this one..its more real and not so ..."like that"...purer...I'm not unhappy with this one at all actually..its pretty to me...It flows how it came out..i didnt go over it...poetry is simply emotion made more intense through words...anyways..i'm rambling about nothing...normally theres just more to say about my poetry...but its pretty obvious what this is about...i actually think its sad but still pretty..
wow the new cover art and pics they put up so you can choose them are just amazing! i love that newer feature...i can never choose...there are soo many amazing old paintings i love but dont have poetry to match them...
#baptism #born #confusion #giddy #happiness #love #new #two life people anew
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