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Music and Poison

An addict as they try to write

Today I woke up still dreaming
About the same time yesterday I woke up already saying
What can I get my hands on today
The time to stop has passed away
turn on something old
so I can breath better than before
I cannot remember who I’m writing for
when all I feel is blood jumping from my skin
shoot me with some of my same old sin
so I can calm and express anything left within
all my thoughts go endless, all my thoughts go numb
why stare straight through me at the sun?
the music splits through the air in waves.
sounding like its trying so hard to save
someone who cannot save themselves
all the flats were once minors
That turned into something major
so I turn on something sharp enough
to sew this feeling on my skin
it feels just right that same old sin
have fallen castles behind my lips
pass time by drinking death in different sips
just like my father
I cannot stand up without something to lean on
at least his feet could touch the ground
when I fell asleep it was summertime
now all the leaves are falling down
where did the time go?
time has abandoned me
and life abandoned, fallen low
or should I have agreed with what they see
it was me who abandoned all long ago?
how dark can you be?
when the warmth will just never stay?
when you can only smile in day
and its an endless night ahead.
 
If I look as if I want too, cannot, do not care to talk.
thats just the poison taking effect.
 
Catherine Renee Stanger
10-20-07
Revised 2015

(2007)

I was at a very low point in my life when i wrote this..it memorable.. but i do not want to change it ...because it was me years ago...i thought i was unreachable ...i thought i could never be helped and i thought it was the end for me...albeit a slow pathetic end...but i picked up ..i fixed myself and much better now and my poetry is better and not as lost and listless and unfeeling.. It's like it had sucked away the talent from it ... this is more lyrical than poetic like most of my stuff back then

Note ** all my poems are copyrighted and have codes to prove ownership ... While I doubt anyone here does this ..still have to say Don't steal other people's work wether a poem is good enough or not .... It's personal and directly speaks from the soul of the writer and to take their work and say it's yours ..it's wrong and unnatural ..your stealing a peice of them ...it's nothing to do with money or rights...it's so much more than that...its happened to me .. It can happen to anyone .. It hurts and I always speak out against it even if to most it seems pretentious...

#Addiction #dark #dread #exhaustion #giving #heavy #loss #music #needles #pain #suicide drug use up

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