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Tied

A not so classical poem ..in fact a song. more just a train of thought for the sake of doing so..but yes its a song more so ...obviously...as I would never begin a poem with the word baby...perish the thought..shiver...this is a bluesy song that I have not perfected yet...course ill probably cut stuff out in end..quite long for song..i let quite a few things inspire this one

 
 
 
Baby I’ve become uninhibited
because I’ve held it to me then got rid of it
just to see how I’d fair
and I would not dare
try again
I’d only be feeding a denial
that should starve in the end
and so well you can deny it
when I felt like a child
when are you gonna admit it
your so damn good at acting mild
playing your part with committed talent
well do you find pride in such things my dear?
or is it just a game?
one where its pleasing that I cant think clear
 
I know you should fear
of course I know
But I’m not heartless either
Its just I didn’t believe in love like that until I saw you
It was almost instant, made me a believer
I felt I’d known you for ages down all the way through
so I’d give up anything to understand it and make it move
I never intended or assumed you felt it too
but these are just words and in no way make actions
 
and If you don’t feel what I do
then why are you doing what your doing?
I wanna be alone with you
and don’t get me wrong
of course I seek to touch you
but I want to exchange words
emotions even arguments too
alone simply to lay among you
beside you, within you, astride you and yes to love you
like I know how too
I’d never met anyone who lit me up all 3 ways
mentally I wanna hear you
physically I wanna have you
emotionally I wanna understand you
know you, find you and keep you
and you don’t feel the same way?
why do I at times not believe you
but if thats how you wanna play it
ill do what you do
 
just a disaster that lay in perfection
I apologize that theres a detection
of fate and I know you feel what I feel in a degree
but of course that means nothing and thats ok
but I don’t think I have to steal what I want if you feel me
but you treat me like you do
you must get from it some satisfaction
I do not. give honest signals or none at all
in your mind aloof
honest answers mean doing the opposite
what comes from my mouth is the truth
what comes from my hands is the truth
 
I thought I knew what all those words meant in the past
the words ones used when their in love
then I met you and these words defined themselves anew
in immediate succession
they solidified into truth I never understood till now a slight and pure obsession
now takes hold for the first time
giving new meaning to every word and sign
I ever gave in love and passion
the word compassion
simply dove to another level I knew not existed
hopelessly in trouble, hopelessly lost
these eyes say enough Ive been told
do they not say everything?
I apologize its the one thing I cannot control
if only I could call the shots
id have already made peace with this long ago
you may have the power and heart to deny
and I apologize I’ve already fought
but I do not
 
so recent I made a promise to myself
to cease sending signals
and for a moment so far so good
and quickly I’ve found its not so easy
in fact its nigh impossible
when I’m near you
how many more times will I let you
treat me that way
say one thing and do another
how many more times before Im through
before I turn away completely in a survival instinct
scared to death of you
for my words are never there
when I need to speak fair
because I know deep inside you don’t think the same
this same thought process you do not share.
 
I wanna tie knots in us
together by the soul and finish at the skin
let the proximity make its sin
nothing you are could make me walk away
no flaw could make me look away
your entirety screams of one who knows not their beauty
and perfection
don’t you even know?
you change from day to day
leaving me feeling I have nothing I can say
if you hate it then make it clearer
instead of pretending
god push me away
id turn away if you’d show me thats what you wanted
truly wanted
If you never reached out
can we at least call this what it is?
tie me soul to soul finish at the skin
I’m tired of this miscommunication again
so don’t do it again
I’m sick because I wanna wear you down
hate myself in guilt because I wanna wear this down
such a love has made me selfish but the selfishness is
like that of a child’s
Why the further I get my mind comes in tiles
block for block building something then burning it
to the ground
I’d stop but to far now its become
something sooner or later will have to give
though when it does is it an alarm or a bomb
Going off with absolute bliss yet tearing down all around us
or is it an alarm forcing us to part leaving this lie and burn to the ground
but what will I had to resist this is long gone
perhaps I underestimate your resolve
yet you underestimate my ability to know when something is real
yet I don’t move as a reaction to signals mixed
I move when I know for certain I will not be held still
I’m no fool
I’ve got nothing myself
I’ve not always gone against the grain
why are you doing this to me?
you say one thing and act other
do you realize what you do to me so untamed?
you speak to me as if I’m a bother
then send signals to me as if you feel exactly the same
which is it?
I want this to be resolved or to stop
because its not what Id call easy anymore
stop treating me as a mere distraction
Have I not told you this before?
I’d rather you hate me than pretend you feel any fraction
of what exudes from me unto the core
you must know now I wish and I hope you agree
set me free or please just leave me be.
 
—C.R.S

eh..not really written to sound amazing..written to just say what I want...rather long ...to be expected I suppose..but yea the thing with poetry is it comes from a real place but you do alot to it to make it interesting to readers...past and present here in this

#forbidden #love #sorrow #unrequitedlove

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