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Japan

Anonymous

I want to go to Japan.
I can be anonymous in Japan.
No one in my family has gone to Japan.
I can walk in the mountains of Hokkaido
and surf in the waves in Okinawa
I'll write a novel in Japan.
Not a memoir.
It’ll be like Kurt Vonnegut
and Haruki Murakami.
It will be published under my alter ego
so that I remain anonymous.
 
And, the characters in all the books,
it is also them.
You are the only person who will ever know my true inspiration of this trip.
I want to be anonymous.
Do you remember me telling you that I embody the characters in the novels I read?
When I quit grad school
it was Jack Keruoac and Tom Robbins.
When I broke up with you
it was Murakami.
 
I think John Lennon wanted to be anonymous.
That’s a lie.
I think everyone just wants to understand him,
and that, that might be true.
I want to be anonymous
And, I wish he had wanted the same thing
so that I could understand him.
But he didn’t
and I can’t.

(2012)

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