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Not Proud to be an American

Anger from Awareness
of unnecessary violence.
The ability to feel It
reveals Pain’s sources.
A bigger picture Now,
a deeper sense of Understanding
helps the devastated Heart
keep beat with a world so demanding
and in need of Love
as Suffering increases.
It’s all our own doing
or undoing.
We’re all winning
or losing.
The ship is sinking.
Will we fix it?
Or learn to swim
and take our chances?
Is it all so binary?
Is there an in-between?
Where it appears held together
even though it’s tearing at the seams...
Can we live in our dreams?
When we know that denying reality
is ignorance contributing
to the suffering
plaguing
humanity?
Oh free me from this misery
of meta awareness
and the hypocrisy
that runs rampant
in human actions,
interactions,
the need for satisfaction
of the senses;
emotional defenses,
shields up.
Try not to throw up
as the words uttered forth
reflect thoughts not your own.
Collective consciousness
or dogmatic, hierarchical nonsense
force fed
to the youth of a nation
undivided through domination,
united by greed,
familiar with acquiescing
and being told what they need.
The American dream
is history’s most violent scheme.
Based off of manifest destiny,
used as a means of rationalizing
the genocide
of Native Americans
and the continued oppression
of the ones that survived.
I’m not proud to be an American.
I refuse to respect a culture
born from violence and bloodshed.
So far from consent.
Not even taught to be safe
in our own heads,
cause then there’s a greater chance
we won’t listen
to the ones in the top position.
But it’s too late for me.
I will not be a mindless cog
contributing to the war machine
and other systems that
allow the people in power to prosper
at the expense of others.
I have found freedom within
and have started to unlearn
patriarchal conditioning.
It’s a new beginning,
critically thinking
instead of blindly following
what doesn’t make sense
for the betterment
of all.
I stand tall,
an individual
who survived the fall
and during my descent I saw
how undeniably connected we all are.
Enough to get me to believe
in the power of individuals
becoming a community.
Where we learn to swim
and teach others to do the same.
Let the ship sink;
it’s just getting in the way
of our true potential & ability.
It’s time to start healing,
which requires feeling.
Honesty and responsibility;
No more stories
in defense of violence.
Let’s speak in a way that clarifies conflict
so we can start to problem solve it.
Saving face can no longer be a priority.
Futile is the attachment to identity.
I don’t want to be right
if it means you’ll stop learning.
We gotta keep communicating.
And whether or not we step out of ignorance,
recognize our differences
and the importance of diversity
and coexistence,
we are here to learn til death greets us.
I don’t despise people,
but the systems they create.
I let go of hate
so at the end of my days
I can lovingly look you in the eyes and say,
“It’s okay  you don’t see.”
Will you believe me?

(2015)

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