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Bleached

I cant seem to reach,
no matter what the pull.
 
I cant seem to see,
the bleach left no evidence.
 
Not a scratch or stain of blood,
from the moment you laid your eyes (those sea blue sky blues eyes) on me.
 
Claiming I was something different,
to fucking dead to see.
 
That the life you breath into me,
smelled strangely of death, lies and heart break.
 
I’m wasted.
I’m wounded.
Heart broken.
Dis-alluded.
 
And this my fucked up,
little messed up mind of mine.
Wont get over you or the fact,
that even though a good guy picked/likes me
I cant wont seem to like him back.
 
Cause my mind even through its dumbist times knows better,
It knows damn well that you just pull me on a line.
Yet it wants you and questions me if I don’t agree to see you?
Finding a momentary slip in time for you to bump into me....
 
This heart stupidy beats,
ticking,
tocking,
pulling me to try meet.... love is blinding stupid little me!
 
I cant do this!
I cant be....
the stupid girl,
who falls back to this.
 
I cant be!!!
I cant do this!!!
 
I am not me!
But i didn’t choose this!!
 
I fell...
you knew this!
 
I’m weak,
and you just used it...
 
I’d swallow bleach,
just to prove it.
 
That you dont need me
and i cant do it.

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