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"Wilber's Outhouse"

Cousin Wilber built an outhouse,
But it’s not like all the rest,
Its varnished oak, cedar lined,
And engraved with the family crest.
 
He’s got a turbine vent on top
And a wind direction sock,
Copper hinges on the door
With a matching, bolted, lock.
 
There are marble steppingstones,
Inlaid with phosphorus trim,
To guide Wilber safely there
And safely home again.
 
The solar panel interior lights
With a battery backed-up ceiling fan
And a remote access internet Link
Brings together a perfect plan.
 
His padded throne is satin covered
In marbled shades of green
And if he wants to read, or wipe,
There’s House Beautiful Magazine.

Orig. written in 1985, rewritten now & then.

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