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War

Love is wonderful... but do not be fooled, it can hurt immensely.

Where have you gone? It is so frigid and worst of all, dark.
Every breath I take is tormented. I so desperately want to scream, but when I scream, no matter how much my throat scorches or catches flame, you will never hear my sorrowful cries for you. I feel detached, like my soul has been ripped away from yours without warning and then shredded into pieces. Like the nightmares that visit me in the witching hour, the darkest place in my mind taunts me.. Whispering to my thoughts that you will never return.. My heart that fluttered whenever I heard your name, now only aches and grieves for your return. I want to move on but my mind and heart are constantly at war, ripping at each other’s throat. I have lost something that was not even mine to begin with, but with as much strength that we had, a label was never needed. Maybe things weren’t meant to be. And I would humbly accept that, only if it were actually true. The way my soul fit perfectly with yours, like an almost impossible jigsaw puzzle, is something that cannot be replaced. My soul has been broken and only you can piece me back together again... All of the bittersweet memories... Like honey, its thickness coats my mind, trickling down to my heart, causing it to clench even more. The feeling that we were meant to be fails to stop picking and clawing at my brain. What used to be is something I shall never find again. Although I would never look for it because I only desire that connection with you. A love so genuinely aesthetic. Like my own personal brand of heroine I inhaled you in. Your love and your scent and your smile so ridiculously intoxicating. Like an addict, I need more of you. My hand begins to twitch when I remember feeling the stubble sticking onto your chin. My body violently shakes due to the coldness that visits me from time to time when vivid images appear of you holding me inside of your arms. And the windows of my soul shatter into tiny pieces of glass when I think of your angel eyes that used to bore into mine. Or to hear your infectious laughter... Like a beautiful broken record that plays. Because when you laugh, I laugh...
Like two babies in a play pin...

(2015)

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