Where to start...

You are not or never was invited into my life

You were and still are this burden that hangs over my shoulder hounding me to give into your tricks

The sad part? I do. I give all of me to you

I give into your temptations to make things easy

It’s easier to give in than to deal with the pain of getting over you

You are a constant reminder that I am and never will be good enough

I look on my social media and feel so happy for others who are enjoying their lives

They are getting fit, eating healthier, being active, but most importantly they are happy with who they are

Well let me give you a round of applause; you have done your job exceptionally

I am not fit

I do not eat healthy

I am not active

An no, I am absolutely not happy with who I am

I keep telling myself that “yes I will do all of those things”

But you keep coming back to me whispering in my ear that I am not as good as them and that I have to go through the burning depths of Hell before I am anywhere near as happy as they are

But you know what you did do for me?

Thanks to you, I am a pill popping fat girl that loves chocolate and sleeping in

That’s what you do best right? Force medications down people’s throats because they cannot do it themselves? Not just that, but their appetite changes because they just DO NOT want to do anything else because you keep pushing them down

So, you have done your job and picked the right person to play with

For that, I am forever paralyzed because of you; I thank you