Hit So Hard, I am Awake
I never really noticed at first
In the moment I was just angry and felt that I would get over it
Isn’t that what normal people do anyhow?
Get over things?
Well for some reason I am not normal
Had I knew how much his drinking would affect me, I would have left through the door at my first opportunity
But romantic me, I still love him and was blinded to the harsh damage he put upon me
Now, sitting awake at 2:00am I am trying to hush the noise around me to get some shut eye
The sad thing, the fan was not just cooling me down, but was obnoxiously loud and I couldn’t hear myself think to the point of exhaustion
Still, why can I not sleep?
Simply because I am a scarred girl
With scars you are supposed to put a cream on and watch the scare fade...
Well what cream am I supposed to use now?
The only thing available for me was to try and think of something else; something happier than me and my feelings of discomfort
Now, with my free-wandering mind, that was impossible
Do I have anything to look forward to now?
I sure hope so
Me and my boyfriend have this love hate relationship with alcohol; I hate it and he loves it. I have lived with alcoholics my entire life and to see my loved one get so intoxicated to the point of no return until the next morning is disgusting.
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