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Keeping It To Myself

To be honest, I am a very out spoken woman
 
I love to speak my mind, and I will express my thoughts to anyone
 
But for you, it’s different
 
I feel as if I can’t say what I want to say
 
I feel as if I have to hold back my thoughts and emotions
 
I feel as if I am trapped in some way
 
I feel that if I were to speak my mind, you wouldn’t agree; or understand
 
Does that mean I am pretending to be something that I am most certainly not?
 
How did it even come to this?
 
Are we so “out of touch” sometimes that I have resulted to this?
 
We can’t we just come to a consensus and hear each other out?
 
How can I be me, without being me?
 
I guess for now, we shall see
 
I have to pretend like everything is fine, when it’s not
 
I feel that I have to be like that so you don’t think I’m having an “episode”
 
I feel that you think I’m “freaking out” when I am simply just angry
 
Why can I not be angry?
 
Don’t normal people be angry?
 
I am doing everything in my power to be normal, so why can I not get the same respect?
 
Just because I am angry, doesn’t mean that my anxiety is getting to me

(2014)

Like you guys know, I suffer from sever anxiety. However, my boyfriend seams to think that when I become angry or furious, he thinks that I am having a panic attack. This simply isn't true and I don't feel that I should be looked at like some test experiment. Now that he thinks that I am having a panic attack every time I get angry, I just hold my emotions inside myself. I understand this isn't healthy but I don't want to get into anymore fights that might make or break us

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