Tough Love

“Tough Love” isn’t for everyone… Vague as it may sound when you think of the word ”love” words like soft, gentle, romantic even come to mind while tough is the contradiction of it all.  In fact when you think of tough love I would like for you to look at it from my perspective.  Many of us especially when you have someone in our lives who we love and will endure the most for, high expectations, I call it, will show tough love.  Many of us have good intentions for that someone but its not the act which is done, correction it does matter what you do, however what makes your point/actions come to life isn’t more so focused on the doing but rather how the person receives it.

“Perception.” Someone once told me, “Jail is a place with lot of people with good intentions.” Realizing that, “Tough Love” can be wrongly interpreted me being the person I am I strongly believe that ”Communication is 9/10ths of the Law” perhaps the lack of inability to communicate further creates the disbelief which alters their people’s perception of “Tough Love.”

“CommunicationCreatesComradery” and yes I did jumble all those words together because I need for you to say that to yourself three times really fast in your head.  Catchy ain’t it! However, when you create habits, habits become apart of your character, so now you get it, Communication Creates Comradery.   ”Comradery,” a solider’s term which is tmistake over and over again, insane isn’t it, irony, get it. But realistically, we all have these high ideals and unfulfilled prophecies of one another, and that whatever reason perception has made someone believe, however, when in reality created a sense of disbelief. Especially, in relationships, you hear all the time from the person most effect say to that person that they were a deceiver, liar, manipulator, and etc,. Harsh I know, but it is the truth from emotional opinion.

And you know the secret to prevent this from happening…? I will tell, I had to learn the hard way, many of times, still learning in fact. Its called TOUGHLove and with toughlove comes the truth and honesty. I have been told many of times, “just because your telling me the truth doesn’t mean what you say don’t hurt, it still hurts, truth or not.” Okay, I get it, the truth does hurt but to lie whether its wrecklessness or to protect someone feelings, facts is facts, and they hurt. Tough love is what we need in today’s world and the fundamental key to tough love is communication. Communication sets the boundaries, sets the tone, sets up the level of respect and tolerance someone will have for you. I graduated from college with a B.A in Speech Communications and out of the 5 years in school, the first year long story, but all I took which is helping me learn as I grow is the following called the communication cycle:

1.WHAT YOU SAY.
2.HOW YOU SAID IT.
3.HOW THE PERSON RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE.
4.AND LASTLY WHAT YOU TRULY MEANT TO SAY.

ToughLove however combines and strengthens the communication cycle by doing the following:

1.SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.

Easier said than done, this I know however at the end of the day, when your with the people who you love, trust and respect the most, you will appreciate their honesty, the forwardness, their abruptness, their, uh! oh! criticism!!! because they love you. Toughlove gives pride and different view to life, I give tough love, my ex would probably say I don’t know how to receive love, however love is not for everybody why that’s so vague, I naturally receive “toughlove” may not like it but its effective. There is a big difference between tearing someone down and telling it to them like it is although it still feels the same. TOUGHLOVE kills the perception heightens the communication followed by action, remember words mean nothing without action and lastly comradery is formed.  The pedigree of that comradery is simple...

Tough Love...