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High Hopes

This is hard. I’ve never felt so lonely and alone.
I’m in a crowd of people who love me, but I don’t feel loved.
This is painful, wearing me down to the bone.
I’ve tried to escape for years from the raging flood.
 
It is a battle I’ve been fighting and it is making me weak.
I can’t give up. Stay strong. Just wait... for your family.
So put on a smile and pretend, even though it is bleak.
Valiancy, happily, tragedy, frailty, agony, apathy, vanity...
 
How can I help others if I can’t help myself?

I am never going to commit suicide, but the temptation is there and it haunts me. I never want to hurt my family or God. I just need to find a way to make myself stronger and hopefully move past this depression and loneliness. It is difficult because I always feel like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back.

#Depression #Family #Hopelessness #LonelyPain

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