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exhausted

Once I hit that time clock
I rush home to waste the day
I claim that I’m tired
so I can drink the night away
And I guess  I’m not a liar
Because I’m really tired–
Tired of this pain
So I use drugs and 40s so I don’t feel that way
I melt into the music
and get lost in my own place
And 4 just a little while
The problems fade away
The emptiness feels good sometimes
Like, “ this is who I am”
Relaxing by myself
And accepting
That no1 will ever understand
I feel so distant from my loved ones
That I know it’s not them, it’s me
I can’t ever let it  go
My undying dream of being free

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