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Numbness

I used to love waking up in the morning
I used to love watching the sunrise
I used to love tea
I used to love birds
I used to love feeling the sun
... when it hits my face
I used to love the morning breeze
... especially when it plays with my hair
I used to spend hours and hours
...just sitting there
I used to love gardening
...planting flowers
I used to love feeding the chickens
I used to love ridding my bike
I used to love warring knitted sweaters
... jeans ...and running shoes
I used to enjoy studying
I used to love discovering things
I used to love reading
I used to love writing
I used to love drawing
I used to stay up all night
Jut doing things i love
I used to enjoy little things
And the company of...
...of loved ones
I used to cherish difference
I used to embrace flaws
I used to see hope in people
I used to miss people ..
I used to care a lot
I used to fall in love
I used to fall hard
I used to get attached
Now i can’t fix me
I can’t stand things i used to love
I rarely do anything i used to love
I can’t even leave my room..
without feeling that..
...that i need to go back
... to sit there between those four walls
I can’t tick it off ..
Tick off this numbness ..

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