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Acceptance

The deeper I fall in love the further I run away, I make you feel like I want to leave but I really want to stay. I’m sorry for the emotional hardships I put you through day to day. I’m sorry for the things I say to make you leave just to watch you walk away. I’m sorry  for my ability to shut down physically when mentally I’m responding to everything you say and do. And for all the times I didn’t say I love you back when I know I love you too.

Struggling with myself to do better by you is something I do daily. I have to force myself to say things I should say freely. Emotion says speak but pride says no so words go unsaid and you just let it go. There is no fairness in the way I act, get easily upset and emotionally dismantled and expect you to stay in tact. I can be flawed and you have to accept it but your flaws they have to be corrected. Not physically but characteristically because I want you to be how I WANT you to be.

Vicisititude is necessary for progression and that change requires acceptance. I’m  wrong for my actions,  wrong for all my words, and I’m wrong for all the times that I’ve ever made you hurt. I want to patch the holes I dug in your soul and make the parts of you I made empty whole. Complete you like you complete me and give you me wholly and completely.

(2015)

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