This poem is about my husbands kidney failure and the donation God is allowing me to make to him. I should have called it "Waiting" because that's really what its about.

I watch you try to sleep and my heart aches. Its been over a year. Restless twitching body wasted and struggling, your body is dying and I am too. You don’t know that you whimper in your sleep, cry like a puppy who’s had nothing to eat. God it breaks my soul to hear and I yell at you. I am sorry. I am so sorry.
I knew you were something special the first time we met, you smiled at me and cast your eyes down, helping a patient back to bed. If I had known you were sick I would have run, you were too lovable to lose and I am a sucker for punishment.
Ammonia breath, I try not to cringe, hair fallen out on your pillow, you are so terribly thin. This is too hard. This is to hard. This is so heavy.
I have to save you to save myself, I cant put you under and stay up here on earth. This is to hard, this is too hard, this is too heavy.
The doctor says there’s a cure but it requires a cut, requires a gift he can not give me back, say when, say when, say when.
Lord say when.
I remember your arms and your legs bigger than mine, I remember your Elvis thick hair and your beautiful brown skin, I remember you holding me so happy with so little, not even a real bed or a day without trouble. But we were happy then.
Too many days with too much pain, people hounding and work that never ends, selfish hateful hands out still wanting more. I don’t blame you for being broken. I am too. I don’t blame you for forgetting, I will remember for you.
Shell shocked, world rocked, tired and troubled, faith shaken, so many of our days taken and now, say when, say when, say when.
Lord say when.


(2013)

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Ella
oltre 3 anni

Thank you Robert Martin that is very kind. My husband is 2 years post transplant and survived a quadruple bypass just 3 months prior to his kidney transplant. We both recovered well and he is doing awesome now, will be going back to work as a physical therapist this year. God is good all the time <3

Robert L. Martin
oltre 3 anni

You sound like a wonderful wife. He is very lucky to have you. I wish for the both of you, good health and happiness. You have a very charitable heart.

Ella
quasi 6 anni

Thank you! :)

Cory Garcia
quasi 6 anni

You are a blessing. My prayers are with you both

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