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Ella

Zombie

Alzheimers

There is a zombie in my house. She wanders about slack jawed, face pulled long, eyes unfocused and tired. Her thoughts cut short of conclusion again and again, memories hazy and in disarray bouncing around a broken brain looking for space to settle in. She eats with her hands because spoons make no sense, nor do forks, or the clock on the wall counting out her sentence. With what act have you earned such an end?  Death is a trickster, he takes his time maybe observing for the sake of entertainment, maybe balancing karma in a hidden act of kindness.  A bullet knows more mercy than he, and a bullet shows more mercy than me.

(2013)

This is a very honest observation of someone in end stage dementia as uncouth as it may appear to be, it is what it is. There is always a moral tug of war in healthcare, what is humane what is not? Its a question that has so many answers depending on the situation. Is it more cruel to help someone suffer through a terminal illness than to help them end it? Are you "helping" either way?

Other works by Ella...
Searching

I look for her on street corners among hunched frames and empty eyes as I drive by on my way to work. Emotionless faces dirty with forgotteness, self-pity, and a base desire for surviva...
I will.

I will speak about your goodness and faith all the days of my life, how your heart made me feel, how you laughed and stood and slept, what you loved and what you wanted, the things that...
Wasted

It took my breath you know, took it and replaced it with fear tangible and hot. It took my life, just press on I keep hearing in my ear. I speak it to myself, just press on maybe joy wi...
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She

She was created within the mind of Love Himself, perfect and worthy of creation. She took shape without flaw, her womb a cyclic celebration, and her countenance needing no jewel. Witho...
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The artists gift

And what shall I give you but my words, my observation through eyes unveiled. My lifes marks in mind and flesh. It is a piece of me, it is an artists gift, as is the song sung low in t...
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Say When

I watch you try to sleep and my heart aches. Its been over a year. Restless twitching body wasted and struggling, your body is dying and I am too. You don’t know that you whimper in you...
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The Coat

I wear a coat that began just a thread, one stitch and then another on the day I was born. It is my history, the many hats I’ve worn, what I’ve lost and what I’ve gained, my identity in...
Gentle Souls

Remember who sits beside you when your heart is aching, remember who’s eyes light up when they hear you laugh. Remember who gives what they can for your benefit and never keeps record. ...
The Unspeakable

I can’t talk about it because it’s just too big. I can’t look at it head on because it will lay me down, too far down in the hole. I can’t rest from it because there is no justice, no w...
The Fire

I could not speak when the flames rose, ears full of licking and popping noise, its sweeping with deadly fury up my walls. Reptilian mind activated, screaming escape, wheres the baby, w...
Covid

I dont know where you came from, the truth isn’t something regular people get, but I know what you took. I know what you did, how you suffocated the life out of the one I would have die...
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Wilderness

Is it a slow death, something extra cruel, a whittling away of sanity and peace and purpose with every passing year? Did I ever hear the voice of God, His direction spoken to my heart? ...
Victory

Desperation looks good on you he said, almost as good as defeat. I twisted my fingers wringing them in my hand, heart skipping, brow beading sweat. I am good at being down. I am used to...
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You can’t fix it.

You don’t have to fix it, just hold me for a while, hold up my tired bones and take the weight off my feet. The sorrow has sunk into the marrow drilling wormholes through the meat, down...
Number 12

Ipad implanted via ear buds entertaining her brain with nothing less than the world at her modestly manicured finger tips. I’m sure its something enriching vibrating into her ears. No n...



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