The last sad poem I'll write for years.
I am exploding inside
Death came to life
Ripped down walls of stability and said
Try me.
I can’t figure out what you want
I don’t know what it is but you can have it
Stop throwing around words like they’re and dying
We understanding they’re old and
Tired of surviving
Stop yelling
My heart is swelling
Fireworks
Pumping throw my veins I kayaked to the beach and cried waves
Don’t say we are whole
We aren’t there yet
I never know what to say bc everyone appears too damn oblivious.
There is a yelling classroom in my head
Like a substitute teacher got called in and it’s the last day of school
Got so much heat in my blood it’s the first day I wasn’t cold.
What happened to approaching the situation
Lets just pick and prod at the shit like an operation?
Ignorance is bliss and its disgusting
In rained in our bodies
We are rusting.
I spoke once
Tried to get through you can’t fix hate with hate
But we don’t try love
Long enough.
I am smiling and losing it
Skipping on through with it
But I felt so much today
I’m sure ill wake up numb in the morning
I can’t do mourning
I watched the lake and remembered the days
My grand father taught me how to swim in his 70s he cld lift me
Like a feather
I thought he wld live forever
He’d be in national geographic for being
Strong and immortal
But this thing in his brain
Took us through some new world order
Of our family and what we are and what were gonna be
They say it hurts for you to breathe
If I could have the ability
I ask them to stop pestering what do you want
Are you scared
P, ease don’t be
You are my faith in humanity I swear on the stars you
Will always be.
I don’t know what I will do when you’re gone
I guess the grief I felt at funerals was never that strong
There’s a first time for everything
Just please not now..
I still need comfort too, and I have searched everywhere in my room for something to
Occupy myself with clean the kitchen make a mess so I can fix
It
Take a walk so I can figure out someplace to go
Anywhere to make my mind think something it can tolerate
I want somebody I can stand right now to tell me
It totally makes sense you’re hurting
Or god you’ve been venting to just your notebooks how’s it feel
To feel out loud
I need to say it hurts like hell
How the fuck do
You do it?
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