It seems to be
coming back to my memory;
a nature that I would have forgotten
if it had not been for the dreams that came
to visit me at night
or the projections that had given me insight.
The traits of a girl I had once been,
disconnected from the awareness that it had ever been a part of me.
I kept thinking it was this girl I had never met,
who I truly longed to see.
It seemed so unreal to have such a someone exist in any place but the realms of my mind.
Such a nature, certainly beautiful,
loving, fair, open and kind.
I thought my subconscious had made it up,
so that I may strive towards an illusion,
haunted by her intrusion
into my heart.
I can imagine how one could have learnt to love her,
and I know now she was loved.
So much she misperceived how others saw her;
believed her voice to have been unheard,
her gestures unseen,
her inner world hidden within the realms of her dreams.
But the truth is,
others saw her better than she could see herself.
And she was loved with everything that she was;
her heart cherished, her being valued and respected.
I see it is her that I’ve been missing, her I’ve long rejected,
as making up an integral part of myself.
Through a broken heart perhaps?
A misunderstood affliction...
Now that I’ve finally found her again, I’m urged to let go of her affection.
And it feels painful, I tell you.
But I understand.
And those dreams that’d been calling to gain my attention,
finally make sense...
A black cat of high intelligence speaking to a girl
through a powerful and haunting melody,
resting at the boot of an ancient soldier
dressed in metallic armory.
“You’ve been a ghost for a while,
and now you wish to be set free.
Now tell me what you need from me”.