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Split Open

I'm not ready

I’m not yet ready
I’m not ready to be split open
I’m not ready to find you’re still here
 
Let me believe I healed
Let me believe you were consigned to oblivion
Let me believe these sparks are the remnants of a put out fire
I’ve just been slothful about sweeping the ashes away
 
I’m not ready to admit I’ve been dreaming again
I’m not ready to be torn again
I’m not ready to wander off with you and be wrecked by you again and again and again
I won’t be split open
I will not love you again
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