A Story With A Bad Ending
Poison dreams.
Seeping in between the sheets.
I’m worn down.
Mentally exhausted.
I struggle to get the words down.
I cry rivers of poetry,
To have them go dry at the sight
Of a sterile, white,
College ruled page.
An empty canvas begging to be filled,
And a heart overflowing with sorrow,
I feel the itch,
The need,
To press the pen to paper.
But nothing comes.
Just deep, white, empty sadness.
Pleading to feel whole,
My soul is nothing but a shell.
Any shred of evidence,
Of the girl who was before,
Is nothing but a snapshot
In a long forgotten story,
Burried somewhere deep within
The rotted memories of my mind.
I wish I could forget.
Every happy memory
From the way it was before,
Is nothing but a stab in
What’s left
Of my heart.
I long for the way things used to be.
For the way things could have been.
I always thought I would harden
Over time,
But I have found that the hurt
Is much like a wound that refuses to heal.
You never quite get used to it,
And it still has the power
To drop you to your knees.
Learning to live with it
Is a task I have yet to master.
I still feel at times
Like this world is
Swallowing me whole.
Like I’m drowning.
I feel lost and forgotten.
Stuck.
Used.
Cheated.
Lied to.
This is not what I wanted.
This is not where I was supposed to be.
It wasn’t supposed to end this way...
(2014)
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