Chris
To Christopher Yager
So strong and confident.
A bright and shining aura.
The entire world at his feet.
Sitting in Clifford, the big red truck,
And listening to Papa Roach
Rob and White Zombie
Stone Temple Pilots.
He taught me so much
And paved the way for my
Musical tastes.
I remember him giving me
Rob Zombie’s Hellbilly Deluxe
Cassette tape
On Christmas Eve.
I played it over
And over
And over again
Til I knew almost every word.
The Harley rides,
Wind blowing through my hair.
Being so afraid he’d forget me
Once he had kids of his own,
But nothing changing
Except more love to give
After my niece and nephew
Had arrived.
Never worried about what
Anyone else thought.
My idol.
My big brother.
A burn out through the asparagus.
A cold shoulder.
I thought we were both bonded
Over knowing how it felt to be
The Black Sheep.
Now you stand on the outside
Throwing stones in at me
Alongside the rest of them.
No longer The Black Sheep with me,
Yet instead,
Someone who pretends to be better.
Someone who could act like blood
Holds no weight.
Looking down on me from afar,
Only calling me close,
When no one else will pick up
Their phones.
I let you in every time,
Only to have my heart trampled
And my back stabbed
Every time you forget to call me.
Forget to invite me.
Forget to remember me.
I wish you could feel
Me needing you.
I wish you knew what it was like
To be left.
I wish I knew how to make you
Love
Your little sister.
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