Published with permission of "Light," Autumn, 1999
#HumorousQuatrain
Tracing writhing streams, circling alpine wastes, tickling out a finger nudged between two behemoths, the crooked ring completed at last
Don’t Tell Me Birds are Kin to… The birds of course, are kin to yo… I’ve seen a lover-loser, proved to… Attack the ground, as Xerxes span… He bruising water, the bird, its t…
Old novels have their faults, but… I’m sure we’d all rush out to buy… If on the jacket lovely Hester tr… To show us all a little cleavage a… New credit cards could quickly sto…
The meter of this poem will be like ticks of a clock — no, I mean, ticks of clocks. On contemplation of my navel I see only what appears to be
Anna Nicole Smith (I would have been happy to let he… Had I not heard a little girl on… Smith could have been happy in Te… serving burgers and bedding rednec…
To men an infant’s mostly irritati… But his libido often seems impress… By females features favoring procr… The pelvis flared, the heavy sway… And thus, some women, knowing what…
M. The Old Widower’s Effluvium His cachet evolves from subtleties… as he is groomed for an ever small… He doesn’t sweat for he cannot toi… so baths now seem superfluous,
System Restore I punched one day a strange comput… That spawned an endless lunatic pa… Across the screen of visual debris That I could not remove, still wo…
One day within our thirties bungal… tiny radios transformed to giant… that color-flooded modest living r… But later those constricted cells expanded into spacious chambers
The Billionaire’s Apologia I pass this wretch sprawled agains… and idly but with studied bonhomie drop into his cap a dollar bill, while wondering at the deep dispar…
American Ethics An ancient joke tells how a kid wh… his parents out of rage or just fo… Then cons the judge by citing all… He’ll surely suffer as a lonely or…
Give Me That Old-Time Religion As one New Yorker said, the guy w… You in New York, your wallet as h… At least has goals, unlike the oth… Who kill and maim and have no aim…
Aesop as Existentialist They’d suffered through a devasta… And many larvae died from lack of… The queen, as well, grew thin for… Thus forcing all the workers to co…
Autumn in Florida Smug live oaks drop a leaf or two, Acknowledging the time of year; Droll cypress take from this their… Turn rust as if their end is near.
Hilarious Slants on Being Told You Have Prostate Cancer Can you empathize with Wile E. C… at that moment when he freezes in the air,