These are the nights
I want to jump in a car, anyone’s damn car
and ride
for hours on stretches of empty road
nothing but concrete cement for as long as my eyes can see.
And with the wind rushing through my hair
my eyes teary from it all
the feeling of cold air hitting the skin
maybe I’d forget you
and the feel of your skin on me,
that clammy warmness
that pathetically melted my soul.
I was a fool. Was I not?
I’ll board a plane
travel to the other side of world–
I know there are people and things I need to see
and thoughts I need to hear
and feelings I want to feel.
I want to grab the world in a ball
and take it all in, suffocate in knowledge
and sex, laughter, fear, anxiety.
I will be overwhelmed by it all
the intoxication of the darkness
of a book that makes me shiver
an afternoon where I can lay out in the grass
and feel the bristles scrap across smooth legs.
Don’t follow me
I crave the ecstasy
of doing this alone.