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It hurts to much

I  look at old pictures of you.
I feel pain I never knew.
I try not to hurt when you cross my mind .
The unbreakable bond we shared was one of a kind .
I am so sorry I have not put my pain to rest .
But the heavens took away my best.
It hurts to much when I think of you.
Because I don’t want to accept this reality is true .
I try push the truth to the back of my mind .
Acceptance of you death I cannot find.
I feel guilt for not dealing with this pain .
But I cannot deal with the reality that I will never see you again .
I still needed more time with you dad.
And the thoughts of you being gone makes me to sad .
I don’t push away all thoughts of you cause I don’t miss you .
I just cannot face what is Really true.
I still pretend you are going to come back home .
And you would never have passed away and left me alone .
I cannot let you go and accept this .
You will be the one I will forever miss.
It hurts so much that I cry.
Because I am not ready to say good bye.

(2015)

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