Caricamento in corso...

my last night......

I am almost dead to my family. My future is a pilar of salt. My past is full of sadness, anger, beauty, love, regret, ignorance, and paradise. My future to the world is full of money, things, people, places. I can be anywhere, yet I am nowhere. Today is a new day. Tomorrow will become yesterday. Do I think beyond today? Do I live beyond 31? My place is here. I have counted my hours. I have lived for days. I fight death everyday. I serve no purpose but my own. I am a selfish creature. By nature I want things. By God I am to want salvation. Do I believe in my existence? I Do believe I am here for a reason. God owes me nothing. Am I dead to God? Is my death around the corner? I am a grain of sand on this planet. People are a part of the world and so am I. Every breath is worth the gain of knowledge and intelligence. I see people. I see dead people because of what I believe. Is there hope for me? Am I alone and going to hell? I can feel the lights get dim. My eyes have to try harder to believe what I see. I love my life and the life of the people I have created connections with. My reflection shows me all the emotions I feel through the day. I compare everyday to one moment. It contains the past, the present and the future. It contains every moment of beauty that belongs to the future of what I carnally love. The light of my future belongs to another. I possess only my past. Hidden in all the memories of my time. I believe in the presence of love without one. I know art never brings a piece of mind, it is only an emotion described but never truly understood by others. My art is a part of all of my emotions. My words escape into the atmosphere. Years upon months. Months upon days. Days upon hours. Hours that never feel like years. But a time that now feels like one memory. How do I know existences is about giving myself a purpose? God has not been the center of my universe for a long time. Serving myself and believing that tomorrow is going to be here. Today is not the day for salvation. Tomorrow is never too late. I contradict life with my words. I control the people around me with nothing more than my attention. The ability to see beyond that which I want; something I tell myself I can not live without. I am flawed as a human being. I am torn between christianity and the everyday acceptance of sin. I am not perfect. Do I live in sin or do I live and commit sin out of momentary necessity? Life is never going to be the same. I was living as if I predicted and planned the next 76+ years. I can not choose to live. I live because I choose to fear. My purpose existed before I was born. My choices reflect everything. I can not will the future.

Altre opere di Jaime P. Rivera...



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