The Bottom......
My shame..
I understand now that it is impossible to love someone while hating myself at the same time. I could not see the selfishness that existed between my love and her need for absolution. I was too selfish to let her feel her own way to the truth. I wanted to have her back in my life. I have been alone to see the moon move through it’s many phases. I see it all. I see pieces so delicately divided by the darkness. The light shines to show me more and more of that which I hopelessly try to reach. When the moon is full, the light captures all of the wonderful things that I so long to touch and feel. However, when I stare too close I see all of the blemishes that exist on the surface. I ponder...... I wonder..... Why could I not see the destruction? Why was I so blind to the devastation that was there for the world to see?... What does the other side contain? What happens to my moon when darkness consumes it? What marvels can it reveal if it were to ever show itself to my eyes? Tis her lunar hemisphere of life that she will never reveal to the world for the sake of my sanity. I watched in awe as the beauty of my moon decayed over time behind my eyes. I am torn between God’s word and my want. It is difficult to forgive myself promises I never kept........or couldn’t. My words and actions could never find peace between each other. I still feel my words coursing through my blood. I deceived myself through arrogance and pride. I lost all that I ached for. These guilty roads led me to an endless love. Peace be with you. Love as if everyone needs you. Understand the darkness. Have compassion. I am sorry. I am the one to blame.
My affair.
