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Spill

Notebook open and still no words spill out,
Just hesitation for fear of the worst of my doubts
Being written down and becoming true,
demons I’ve denied ever exist,
See all my lies on the paper as a list,
All the way from first grade I couldn’t believe I had done this,
But I see the lesson and why I am like this,
Nonsense and bullshit, half ass and I quits,
Lots of no I didn’t do it, probably has a thing to do with it,
Taking responsibility is a big weight,
So big most people just break,
Other people it keeps in good shape because they were meant to have this,
Owning there own life and bearing the weight like Atlas,
Walking through the mud and sludge we call madness,
thinking about the magic, love is just what I had imagined, now to spill my guts and get past them.

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