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Love by Degrees

I
 
Through trouble taken,
and confidence shaken,
through stress and pain,
hard work yet little gain,
I have fret endlessly.
Worried Constantly.
Cried at love, thought lost,
at black moods in frost,
cold—hearted fear —
And yet, I tell you dear,
that years of worrying,
and years of doubting,
have not blunted desire
that you keenly inspire.
Hold my heart hostage still,
Hold my heart in rapture still,
For I tell thee true and plain,
I love thee still, and this love will remain.
 
II
 
Until you deem it no more,
And through explanation ensure
No worth in love now between us two
No chance for passion to renew.
Instead, you, cold and alien.
Leave me to the bare carrion.
I believed in love and you shot it.
Cold pragmatism, love had no fit.
And now the future is not ours.
—Damn you, I even sent flowers —
Years of love fashioned 'us’ as 'we’.
I don’t remember life as just 'me’.
Your legacy now will be one of pain,
the rhythm is extended now, in shame.
Endlessly, thoughts unceasing mill:
Do you really love me still?
Tensions spiral and I forget.
Am I supposed to feel such regret?
Questions circling, can’t break free.
Is this really because of your degree?

(2015)

No notes. Again. Won't add them. Can't make me.

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