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In the end

excited it is
to be texting back and forth
or laying on my bed
but sleep can’t catch up
in the beginning
it’s all an adventure
in the mind I go
wondering how it’ll end
I don’t mean to
interrupt all the good times
but I  have to be honest with myself
we’ll soon end
 
in the end
I want to be strong
give you one last memory
that put all the rest to shame
and rush on home
all we did
the memories made
means nothing at all
cause you let me go
 
it’s myself  I’m talking to
how can you lie to someone
that knows you so
after the break up I’d be
laying on my bed as tears
find their way to my sheets
cuz I’d finally accept
that this won’t end
and you deserve me, as I do you
I’d finally give in to the feeling
I should’ve held from the beginning
 
in the end
I’d pick up my head
rush on past you
as if you’re nothing but air
nothing but a mirage
in my eyes held regrets
cuz all along, I knew we’d end
I knew I didn’t have you
in shame, I end
 
then again you’d write me
weeks and months passed
as if to say, I gave you no pain
as if to say, I’m back now
my absence was only temporary
how foolish it is
that I’d open up my arms
ready for you enter
then again, I can’t  let go
I really want to understand
why you caused me so much pains
 
in the end
you’ll look at me sideways
your eyes will be filled with disgust
in the end
you’ll notice that
you’d been blind all along
in the end
you’ll see me
for who I truly am
in the end
you’ll finally notice
that I was  worth
every single tear
that was released upon my absence
and the need to renew it all over again
 
in the end
I want to be free from you
free from the memories
the need of you
I want to let go with all my might
in then I want to be strong
enough to say that we had to end
and that never again you’ll have me
in the end I want to let you go
as if we’ll never meet again
in the end I want
us to be like a dream I’d awoken from
and after all is done
I’ll awake to reality

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