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1 Room in Brain

room whitewashed
walls sanitized
me
in a room
broken brain
crying room
in a room
4 walls
1 ceiling
1 floor
1 window
1 roof
1 view
1 bed
1 mind
1 room
1 brain
1 room
my room became my brain
the only escape was brain to room
and back to brain
occasionally looking out the window
occasionally climbing out the window
onto the roof
a ledge
no way down
no way off
too scared to jump
wanting to jump
wanting to survive
jump into my imagination below
more brain below
all in 1 room
sleep and void
life and hope
1 room
cage and imagination
sad and suicide
misery and guilt
all in 1 room
all in 1 brain
no way to separate
no way to disassociate
now everything in 1 room in brain
all floods out of 1 room in brain
facts about anatomy
memories of baptism
rage from psychological incarceration
all tumble out of the same 1 room in brain
light is off
can’t see what is coming out
can’t see what is in the room
need to go in and find what I need
need to make room in my 1 room in brain
have a lot of things to store
have a lot of things not to forget
will keep my 1 room in brain
but now I live in a bigger room
with two windows
I live in a house with many rooms
I can leave the house from the front door
and don’t need to jump.

(2014)

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