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forget time

unwanted connection to my youth
uninterrupted stream of consciousness
first memories linger and manifest
periodic reminders of what I can’t forget
my escape from the void
 
splitting chasm in my security
whispering victory fleeting
I stand upon my conquest wondering
if being born was worth the suffering
accept the gift of life
 
dreaming turns to nightmare and panic
years of reinforced emotional anxiety
tied to a 6-year olds reckoning
unflinching vigor episode to episode
time enslaving life unfolds
time enslaving, life unfolds
 
thought and emotion are not one
neuronal synapses laid from young
habitually retain this intrusive memory
today I choose thought without feeling
a bliss maybe to forget I was young

(2014)

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