I lock the door,
to keep out the demons.
They come in,
when I’m sleeping.
My brain——- wide open.

I opened my page and saw that my w
They carry a secret message, a por

I thought I burned everything.
Denial expedited closure.
Now your words break through the i
I find them scattered all over my
Burning love for closure,

I was home in Westwood.
I was home in Camp Lejeune.
I was home with one love.
I failed at childhood; failed stat
Desperate for home anywhere I lay

River is always changing,
with a crack coming out of the cli
the river from the cliffs,
down to the beach,
carved out in an alcove,

It doesn’t come through governance
it has existed all throughout.
It doesn’t come through war,
fear and revenge masquerade as lib
It doesn’t come through money,

you can learn to build a castle
living within it
even surrounded by family
whose love is broken,
you have to remember

you are happy as a bee,
showing all the other bees
where all the pretty flowers lie.
You are the best bee dancer,
Zumbando in all of the sky.

I feel as though
I’ve landed on a beach,
as an invading,
occupying force.
Only to find the land

The leaves drop every fall, yes th
Their genetic residue, like a mill
marking the thousands fallen befor
The next of kin leaflets, bare the
Death is no escape from imperfecti

waves over the mind
shivers thru the body.
Hope, the thread intertwined,
through the life
of a living soul.

I live on the knifes edge
where if I stray
even a millimeter to the left
I am convinced
that any and every flaw

I perpetually wait, I cannot act,
but I always know, and you’re gone
It happens quickly, often with jus
that I know how deeply, I can lov
I’m not so foolish to think there

Dear Mom,
I can’t even begin to tell
how you might have reacted
to the letter I sent.
It was not intended to be hurtful,

Like I promised,
I still love you,
not for the principle of loyalty,
but because I yearn
from the deepest

I saw anger, justice, passion, eng
I saw despair, emaciation, dysphor
I saw shame, fear, desperation fl
I saw flat, emotionless, mirrors r
I saw provocation, hostility, infl

I wanted it out of my head.
To see it, cage it, shackle it,
reduce its power in abstract form,
tame it by silencing its shifting
I wanted to smell it, hear it, lis

The two whirling white clouds of s
One soft and sweet from burning ol
The other harsh and irritating fro
The billowing smoke choked out Pa
But only for the moment where brea

I was open to trying.
I was open to overcoming,
and I found you running away.
I don’t know where to stand,
to make you not afraid of me.

Within the dead of those we choose
lies a truth forever gone.
Within the dead of those we choose
choose to hate,
or never cared enough to know

I am claustrophobic,
mountains are liberating,
of my humble human anxiety.
Bodies of water seem provocative,
with their two-dimensional facade,

All the pain rocks me to sleep.
I grew tolerant to the effects,
Addicted to the intoxicating isola
Romanticized despair, holding hope
I can follow the trail at the slig

The waves crash over the barnacle
Crabs and small fish tangle in a b
The air and water meld as one cont
Each are in pursuit of their own m
Birds hover over the seemingly una

I don’t belong here,
in the crushing deep abyss.
The triturating pressure,
makes me forget about the asphyxia
The frigid cold,

room whitewashed
walls sanitized
me
in a room
broken brain

Pestering funnel of delinquency,
hovering in the stratosphere for a
from where we lit the lake of fuel
Spewing and billowing off to the n
forecasting trouble in the lands o

unwanted connection to my youth
uninterrupted stream of consciousn
first memories linger and manifest
periodic reminders of what I can’t
my escape from the void

The first time I heard the word p
She slammed my head against the wa
And I stared straight back into t
Fuming with fire, scorching the ho
There was nowhere to run, nowhere

Ambivalence was taking the power b
Without ever looking back, but the
Ambivalence was the guilt preventi
was the same guilt I was taught to
Ambivalence was people calling me

Thunder rips dreams from sleep.
The fitful heave themselves upon t
Lightening sears all eyelids open.
The fitful heave themselves upon t
The voluminous sweat from the back

If a demon appeared at my window
I would laugh and say what world
are you trying to find and who
are you looking for, me
are you looking for me?

I choose love
I choose love
I choose love
Because it is you
Because it is you

Where do I let my hopes hang?
In the air with scents of flowers
How do I let my emotions reign?
Among animals I am not brave enou
Why do I share the shards of my p

The chronic, liquefactive necrosis
Except the immortal soul carries o
with all its accumulated scars and
Whose soul is upon my life, to wei
heavily the inflammation of loneli

I hate that you smoke
I despise that we choke
on our desperate attempts
for irrational contempt
my best efforts remote