I took off my skin and I handed it to you,
[you said you only wanted me for what’s beneath my surface]
you wouldn’t take it so I stitched it back into place,
but It no longer fits the same.
I mouthed the word stay across your tired cheekbones because I was positive, you weren’t looking at me.
It’s hard to lay next to someone and know they are dreaming of laying next to someone else;
anywhere but here.
I listened for the stillness, the seconds between good mornings, the spaces between kisses where silence, is the loudest sound In the room.
I tried to find the breath of the oceans I tapered to your sides in attempt to hold onto you,
but it seems the waves voices are the only silence we have left.
You told me you were leaving because you wanted happiness;
my bones felt like a train wreck, my mouth a fire escape, my words a fire with no way out. I never told you how my lungs dried out, when you said that leaving me would give you that.
But I was a wolf and you were the moon,
so I cut our strings and set you free.
You promised you would always come back to sing to me sleep
I listened for the sound of your hands against my doorknob, for the sound of your throat on my dial tone, for the spaces between the forehead kisses and goodnights
I listened, for the silence,
and for the first time that I did not want to,
I found her,
and for the first time I realized, how quiet she really was.