You held my hands when I was too young to cross the street alone,
All I knew was that I liked the way it felt when your arms like wildflowers wrapped around me.
You watched me grow, and you grew with me;
Like I was a night sky you filled me with constellations, your ocean veins streaming through my childlike skin.
 
When people asked for my name I found you resting beneath my tongue.
 
They forced me to tear off my blue skin,
not even the mask I wear can hide where you’re missing from.
 
They told me to be still,
They told me,
To stop crying
 
As they cut me open, looking for you.
 
My snowflake hands and your gasoline spine trembled beneath the sting of each other’s last touch.
 
13 years have gone by, I am no longer too young to cross the street alone,
But I miss the way your arms like wildflowers felt,
wrapped around me.
13 years,
I am growing,
I don’t want to grow without you.
 
When people ask for my name I feel your weight like cement in the back of my throat.
 
I’ve managed to keep running to every edge of the earth and back
even though
my feet no longer work right
 
I fell asleep to the sound of your voice pulsing through the moonlight that rests inside my bones;
I will always dream of you.
 
They can force me to tear off the skin in which you’re under,
They can force me to bleed out the ocean that you gave me. They can force me to hand you back to the world,
 
But maybe one day,
The world will give you back to me,
Maybe one day I will feel your arms like wildflowers wrapped around me, once more.
 
I won’t say goodbye,
even though
You are already gone.
 
Until the day,
That’s maybe one day
 
I will always hold you
 
Until then.

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