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October

Letting you go has been like owning a sky full of stars inside my chest,
and having the moons fingertips dig down inside me, tearing each one out of me, placing them so far out of my reach.
Watching you go has been a fire inside me,
An ocean tattooed to the palms of my hands, an ocean I loved;
that had to be drained empty.
(I still feel your waves between my fingers.)
You were a home that lived inside me,
Everything that ever hurt me, when I came out on the other side,
you were always standing right next to me.
When I felt like I was empty, you filled me.
You were a mother, you were a friend, you were a home.
Saying goodbye has been like watching an ocean die.
You watch the waves endlessly crashing
never growing tired of smashing their bodies into the sand
you think,
they will crash forever.  
 
Saying goodbye,
has been like handing in every day of my life until now, to someone who’s face I am not allowed to see
and just praying
That one day
they’ll give them back to me.

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