Good-bye For Now, Hello Comes Later
To: Every person out in the world who battles with depression or other mental illnesses that feel like their life is a waste.
My dear mother,
please tell my brothers, sister, and father.
I grew to be strong,
but my strength was wrong.
It was all physically,
I lacked it mentally.
Please, don’t be mad.
I know what I did was bad.
But I can’t take waking with tears.
Every time it adds to my fears.
I can make it look like everything is alright,
But inside of me is always a fight.
A struggle.
Every scream is muzzled.
Have you seen my wrists?
Or was that something you missed?
I never cried for help because I hated attention.
I was always the quiet one, didn’t I mention.
I wasn’t always like this.
When I was younger, I always felt bliss.
But now, I can’t help but feel... helpless.
Drowning on the surface world, my life seems hopeless. Just know that deep down, I’ve loved you all.
Even if all we mostly did was brawl.
My dear mother, from birth til now,
You’ve raised me so true and proud.
To my brothers, whose attentions I always sought.
You were my strengths, you were my rocks.
To my brilliant sister, you’ve taught me so well.
You taught me that I could fight through hell.
Finally, to my father...
Its okay that you weren’t mostly there. You were always the one unaware.
Your only care, was shaping me to be like you.
Well, here’s some news.
I never wanted a father like you, with all the drugs and drinking you do.
Let this be a lesson.
I hope you clearly get the message.
Good-bye to you all, and thank you for everything.
It will be hard having a child missing. But I will be in a better place.
My soul can be free from this horrid face.
Please, don’t be sad or cry.
In the end, we are all bound to die.
I’d say I didn’t want this, but I was raised not to lie.
Now my spirit can run free and true.
Oh, and I’ll say hi to Grampy, Nana, and uncle for you guys, too.
Good-bye, my dear broken family.
It is time for me to leave.
(2014)
I wrote this because I've been hearing so many cases on suicides over this summer, and I've personally lost three friends to this horrible end. I wanted people to read this and see that they aren't alone in this situation, that there are so many others who are having battles similar to what they are going through...including myself.
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