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Vincent Nemo Penfold

A dream, a dear memory, my little could have been

Wandering through a maze of halls
Can bring some to fall
The feeling of an empty middle
Can leave you feeling as if you have just heard a sick riddle
To go through this there is no treatment
It takes your own personal commitment
 
I got lost in your willingness to learn and dream with me
I lost my happiness along the way
And the true person I wanted to be
Trying to think what all it could mean in the start
I wanted it to be us three
 
You were unable to care of us two
I unable to get the chance to hold the other part growing in me
When you body starts to chance the excitement begins
You being that this can become true
 
But then when you receive the news
Of the loss of you before I could even meet you
As the doctors speak it seams as if it is only a dream
A lost reality if a broken hearted scream
 
Wishing I could go back to yesterday and hug your tummy tight once again
Realizing it was not just hard on me
But also you as well
You turn to run to the east coast
On a new dream and a roller coaster ride
 
Leaving me, alone now not two but only me, just one
Thought swarm around of what could have been for us three
Coming to the conclusion today I would have been 15weeks along
Yet I am sitting here flat tummy
Not going to be a mummy
 
Your name would have been Vincent Penfold

It has been a struggle being able to write about my own personal experience of having a miscarriage, I am only just coming to terms with what happened it has been 2 months now, and I still just don't feel right.

Other works by Katarina Penfold...



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