Can I just cry?
can I try?
 
I need to be in the better place
but when I try, I cry and become scared,
what will everyone think
Is there a beyond?
 
Can I think of another way, anything else
can’t fathom what it would be like
I don’t want to die but I do.
 
 
Want to know what is out there
but I just don’t want to go on.
 
I am shit scared of death
death wishes to grace me
 
I hold on strong
for
nothing I want
cuts and scars plastered
in thin red and white lines.
 
Writing covering the walls
the asylum of my mind
eager to see
contorting images of my death
of my pain and scars, my tears.
 
I don’t see a future
 
Fragments
I don’t know what I want.
death, live, debt, hope?
Wishing for something
I don’t yet know
 
can I just try?
can I cry?

(2015)

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